#idk i see him this weekend and i just know he'll either have gotten me nothing or he made a late night trip to walmart and picked out

[tempe-brennans]

the ick is back

[heavyhitterheaux]

Put a Bounce House In You

First Lady of Private Garden Instagram AU

Liked by jackharlow, saweetie, urbanwyatt, 2forwoyne, laflare1017, estgee, softtcurse, danivalentine, and 2,089,446 others

y/ninsta: face you make when hubby took his lyrics a little too seriously and actually did put a bounce house in you but it's okay because you know he'll dick you down whenever you want 🤭

jackharlow: did you think I was lying when I said that? same thing goes for daycare in her throat.

urbanwyatt: here they asses go

2forwoyne: they've gotten worse since she's gotten pregnant. didn't think that was possible smh

y/ninsta: jackharlow no I didn't think you were lying, but uh I didn't expect 3 at one time either smh

jackharlow: y/ninsta no ragrets

normani: jackharlow lmaooo jack shut up lol

saweetie: is the new robe I bought you comfy?!

y/ninsta: saweetie it is, thank you!

jackharlow: saweetie she never wears it for long though lmao

saweetie: jackharlow bunch of nasties! smh

jackandy/naremyparents: okay skin is glowing!

lilnasx: what's in that bag on the side? some whips and chains? 👀

y/ninsta: lilnasx no! that's one of my make up bags!

lilnasx: y/ninsta mm hmm sure. that's what you want us to think

druski2funny: oh? jack be tying you up, y/n?

y/ninsta: druski2funny no. I tie him up. 😏

jackharlow: y/ninsta what the? what the hell is going on?

lilnasx: jackharlow I knew you were a sub lol

jackharlow: y/ninsta since when do you tie me up?! I thought it was the other way around

saweetie: oh it's getting spicy in here

y/ninsta: jackharlow 👀

jackharlow: y/ninsta baby don't get up here and lie, because you already know what's about to happen. pregnant or not.

urbanwyatt: yeah imma head out smh 2forwoyne I'm coming over

2forwoyne: urbanwyatt bring a slice of that cheesecake y/n made this past weekend with you

y/ninsta: 2forwoyne the babies ate it

2forwoyne: y/ninsta YOU MADE AN ENTIRE PAN

jackharlow: 2forwoyne she ate half of it, got sick and then proceeded to throw up everywhere. Then the next day did it all over again. she over there crying because she was tired of throwing up but I was like baby you did this to yourself. I told her ass not to do it. AND THEN ASKED ME TO GO BUY HER TACOS. I WAS LIKE MAKE IT MAKE SENSE

neelamthadhani: jackharlow whatever my girl wants. you better get it for her. ain't nobody playing with you. if she tells me otherwise it's on sight smh

y/ninsta: the people love me 🥰

y/ninsta: jackharlow blame your children and no ragrets. I'd do it again too. that shit was good.

jackharlow: neelamthadhani i swear everyone just throws me under the bus when it comes to her

2forwoyne: y/ninsta well can you make me another one?!

y/ninsta: 2forwoyne no my boobs hurt

quiiso: y/ninsta what the hell does that have to do with anything?

y/ninsta: quiiso idk, everything is just so sensitive on me

jackharlow: y/ninsta including that pussy

y/ninsta: jackharlow will you quit it?! CONTROL YOURSELF 😭

jackharlow: y/ninsta LOOK WHO'S TALKING

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, danivalentine, djdrama, privategarden, nemoachica, 2forwoyne, and 3,760,992 others

y/ninsta: if lost return to wifey which is me. Yall can return Urby to Curse if she wants to take him back that is. Yall see I'm hella pregnant and my husband and best friend just left me in this house by myself? THE FUCKING AUDACITY

jackharlow: PAUSE. NO ONE LEFT YOU BY YOURSELF. I WOULD NEVER DO THAT. CUT THE SHIT NEOW

claybornharlow: see, if you were with me you wouldn't be going through this

danivalentine: CLAYBORN!

saweetie: jackharlow who the hell is with her then?!

claybornharlow: 👨🏼‍🦯👨🏼‍🦯👨🏼‍🦯👨🏼‍🦯👨🏼‍🦯👨🏼‍🦯

jackharlow: saweetie dani, jess, and blanca.

jackharlow: AND HOLD ON y/ninsta knew I was going to Boston and told urb to come with me! I didn't even want to go without her! she INSISTED that I did

theestallion: jackharlow sure, jan. jackandy/naremyparents: look at dad! softtcurse: I guess I'll take him back urbanwyatt: softtcurse the hell you mean, you guess? softtcurse: urbanwyatt I'm in Boston too so you better call me once the game is over urbanwyatt: softtcurse since when?! softtcurse: since y/ninsta told me where you two were going and sent me to check on yall because you are two toddlers who cannot be trusted y/ninsta: now, who said that?! would you look at the time! I need to take my prenatal vitamins. kbye. jackharlow: y/n!!!!! get back here! softtcurse: jk, I have a photoshoot I'm doing but... you two do need a chaperone smh

normani: jackharlow you sure we talking about the same person? wifey likes to be attached to you at all times and you are the exact same way smh

y/ninsta: jackharlow oops. pregnancy brain. I forgot about that part. okay yall pay no attention to the caption above. claybornharlow LITTLE BABY!

jackharlow: she stays stressing my ass out and yall don't even hesitate before coming for me smh

saweetie: jackharlow it's outta love tho. gotta keep your ass in check.

jackharlow: saweetie 🙄

claybornharlow: y/ninsta I went to that taco place and got the six different salsas you like with the tacos, street corn, tres leches, and burrito for later.

jackharlow: claybornharlow some of that better be for you because y/ninsta what the actual fuck?! you about to make yourself sick again

y/ninsta: jackharlow your children are hungry!

2forwoyne: clean up on aisle Triple Threat Harlows lmaoooo

y/ninsta: jackharlow I'll be fine, you worry too much. but uhhh you looking real zaddy like in that first pic like you getting ready to punish me for something and who you looking that good for? better be for me and me only and not all these damn cougars

nemoachida: got dammit here they go smh

jackharlow: y/ninsta oh? I am definitely about to do that once I get back and you better be ready for me and it's only you

sza: jackharlow if she isn't throwing up everything she ate that is.

y/ninsta: jackharlow green is definitely your color, but.... I also like seeing you in nothing 😏

jackharlow: y/ninsta get on facetime in 10 minutes

y/ninsta: jackharlow shit, don't have to tell me twice 😜

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, bostonceltics, jaysontatum, saweetie, softtcurse, danivalentine, and 3,082,371 others

y/ninsta: and who the hell you looking at like that because I know for a damn fact it's not me. Wayment don't tell me I gotta compete with Jayson now. That has to be who you're looking at. Say it ain't so 😭 (I'm not mad tho, not hard on the eyes at all)

jackharlow: your pregnancy hormones have me fighting for my damn life out here. outta pocket😭

sza: damn and jayson is cute! slide him my number boo!

y/ninsta: sza he's jack's now. I just have to accept it. it's okay. about to make me raise triplets by myself as a single mother so he can go and live his best life. I gotta take him to court for child support

jackandy/naremyparents: I just knew it was too good to be true! look how jack is looking at him! that look should be reserved for his wife only!

y/ninsta: jackandy/naremyparents you get me baby. you get me.

saweetie: y/ninsta bitch you got me up here fucking SCREAMING. I swear I can't stand your ass lmao

lilnasx: NOT CHILD SUPPORT 😭😭😭😭

danivalentine: y/ninsta you are so bored without your husband and I'm going to need for him to come back home lmao because you have be WILDIN since he left

jackharlow: I always tell yall how she be actin outta pocket but no one believes me

jaysontatum: now ms. first lady, I know better. I know jackharlow is yours even though I did treat him to dinner last night. I don't want no smoke.

y/ninsta: JAYSON YOU TOOK MY MAN TO DINNER?

jaysontatum: y/ninsta had to take him to one of the best restaurants in Boston while he was here! And I let him get the most expensive thing on the menu. I've seen your track record and I know how protective the two of you are over each other. I'll send him back home to you soon.

druski2funny: WAYMENT JACK! WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE LIFE PARTNERS AND THIS IS HOW YOU DO ME? FIRST Y/N AND NOW JAYSON?

y/ninsta: jaysontatum make sure he brings me back something expensive like a Birkin or something. nothing too crazy.

dualipa: oh. y/ninsta you know where to find me baby. let Jayson HAVE HIM!

jaysontatum: y/ninsta I got you mamas 😉

jackharlow: y/ninsta BABY! YOU DO NOT NEED ANOTHER BIRKIN! I JUST BOUGHT YOU FOUR MORE!

jackharlow: druski2funny it's not my fault we were going through problems and you didn't want to go to counseling smh

jackharlow: dualipa kick rocks until your toes bleed. I know where you live

jackharlowsource: LMAOOO I ABSOLUTELY CANNOT WITH THEM

dualipa: jackharlow PULL UP THEN! I'M HERE!

jackharlow: dualipa see you tomorrow

jackharlow: y/ninsta I know danivalentine did not just text me that you said when you saw a pic of me and jayson you said that you had another tree to climb

y/ninsta: jackharlow *insert mr. krab meme when he looks around confused*

jackharlow: y/ninsta you better be awake when I get back too smh

y/ninsta: pray for my coochie yall, jack about to kill it lmao

saweetie: y/ninsta I swear you get on my nerves lmao

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, jaysontatum, saweetie, djdrama, 2forwoyne, danivalentine, theshaderoom, and 3,872,904 others

y/ninsta: my baby is back just like jaysontatum promised and he told me he's not leaving me for Jayson so mission aborted. I got hella nervous for a minute there 😬

jackharlow: y/ninsta like I could ever leave that pussy behind HOWEVER if we fall out, you already know I'm going to him

y/ninsta: jackharlow shit, I'm coming too

druski2funny: count me in!

jackharlow: this ain't no damn foursome type thing going on! get yall own basketball player!

y/ninsta: jackharlow I would but steph is married and I don't want to break up a happy home. and besides I already have one! hint hint: white men can't jump

jackharlow: y/ninsta I'm ignoring that first part smh

jaysontatum: y/ninsta I told you that he was in good hands! did you get your gift?

y/ninsta: jaysontatum what gift?! jackharlow BABY WHERE MY GIFT AT?

jackharlow: y/ninsta it's me. I'm the gift.

y/ninsta: jackharlow ew. return to sender.

dualipa: yes, boss bitch energy! drop that man!

jackharlowsource: NOT RETURN TO SENDER LMAOOOO

jackharlow: y/ninsta WHAT? AFTER YOU WERE CRYING ON FACETIME TELLING ME YOU MISSED ME LAST NIGHT?! dualipa shut your ass up smh

y/ninsta: jackharlow just kidding pookie!

jackharlow: y/ninsta and why are you always taking pics when I'm sleep?!

y/ninsta: jackharlow because you look so cute and cuddly

urbanwyatt: let me leave to the other side of the house because I already know what's about to happen

jackharlow: urbanwyatt I'm about to go to sleep. nothing is about to happen.

y/ninsta: jackharlow who the fuck told you that? I've been without you for FOUR DAYS. pay me some attention!

jackharlow: y/ninsta call danivalentine!

y/ninsta: jackharlow no she didn't let me get mcdonalds yesterday so she's on my list

danivalentine: y/ninsta to keep you healthy!

y/ninsta: danivalentine my husband's dick does that just fine

theestallion: Y/N PLEASEEEEEE 😭😭😭

danivalentine: y/ninsta and that's why your ass is pregnant with three now smh

y/ninsta: not my fault on the dick I do gymnastics. jackharlow GET OVER HERE NEOW. I want another bounce house in me

jackharlow: jaysontatum send me a plane ticket back to Boston asap jaysontatum: jackharlow so your wife can kill me? nah, she can keep you lmao

Taglist:

@harlowsbby

@babyharleezy

@hoodharlow

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@jackiehollanderr

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@awhore4moree

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Saturday, August 24th, 2024!

2:08pm: Damn I feel so crazy rn and so ugh. I feel offended that he keeps saying I can't make a decision. I make decisions and he doesn't like what I pick = I stop making decisions. Plus he is a picky eater I literally can't deal with it. I don't want to go out, pay for food at a restaurant and he doesn't like it. That shit is annoying. Indecisive my ass, my plan two weeks ago was aquarium -> concert -> drunk bedtime/ funsy time. Turned into him saying to play it by ear for a concert..... Hello bro I need to know if I'm buying tickets or not 😑 but it was ok because I was like fuck it at least the aquarium will be fun. LITERALLY he gets TO MY HOUSE and I'm picking out my aquarium outfit and he goes ... Oh I'm tired let's go tomorrow 🙃 which is fine but he had somewhere to be at 1pm which I didn't know we were on a time crunch for the aquarium in the morning aka why would you suggest that. Oh so the other reason for not going to the aquarium Friday was it closed at 5. We would've gotten there around 2:30pm. Aka you assume that means he wants to spend about ~3 hrs at the aquarium (keep in mind I've never been, this is his idea, I am under the impression there's 3+ hrs worth of things to see there). We end up going in the morning, it's expensive af which I didn't really know but I offered to pay bc it's my weekend. We end up only going for about 1 hr...... I'm like ok bro we could've done this yesterday ?? Indecisive my ASS. I'm just kinda annoyed at that comment fr. I'll start planning the dates, where to go for dinner, what to do, but bitch don't start fucking complaining about it once I start planning shit 🤷‍♀️ I've literally never complained about any of his dates, even going to the gym. PLUS nigga I had two dates planned back to back last weekend except your dumb ass was sick so STFU‼️💯🌶️‼️

I'm kinda concerned that this football shit is about to overrun his life (mainly weekends aka the only time he'll hang out with me 💀) idk I just don't have a good feeling about this for some reason. :( He won't introduce me to anyone, nobody knows about me, which was ok before I guess but now every Saturday, he's gonna be with his friends.... Who don't know about me and I guess will not find out about me. Tbh it's giving not confident (either in himself, ME (wtf?) or both), it's giving pussy ass bitch, it's giving you are not my priority - my friends are 🚩, it's giving I act completely different around other people in some way that is incompatible with what I've told/ shown you, and I mean worst case scenario - but unlikely given how unconfident and self-proclaimed fucked up he is - he has a girlfriend or something incompatible with me being in the picture. Can we talk about the low self-esteem, woe is me, my family is fucked up and so am I mentality? That shit is annoying, mf if you don't like your family, you are 26 bitch move out ?? 💀 You are saying you have all these issues, nigga if you are aware of it then wtf why are they still there? Not to knock anyone in the healing stage, but like are you in a place to have a relationship if this shit is so prevalent in your life? I know I wasn't ready for a relationship for a long time, now I am and I feel truly like this MF is dragging his feet because he is lacking something in himself, confidence, trust issues, self-conscious about me being his gf despite saying he likes me but is afraid of what other people will think (confidence again).

I think I hit the nail on the head, he either afraid of my perception of him and/or his people, or his people's perception of me as a reflection on him WHICH to say, is totally fucked in the head and rude af. I'm glad I put this all into words because it's really rubbing me the wrong way.

[pacifymebby]

Hiii! Okay so basically we didn’t even end up doing what we were going to do last night we just ended up staying at his place and baking and then we did end up going all the way but not without difficulties. Big tmi coming up!! I don’t know if it’s me?? Like how I’m angled (I’m pretty sure this is it I seem to be angled oddly) or because I’ve never had sex before?? But we just could not get it in. Once we finally did get it in and get a rhythm it was quite nice and he just naturally got to a rough pace that I liked. But the only problem was I still couldn’t cum. Like he made me cum before so I was more worried about making him cum than me but still we tried multiple different positions and to no avail for me. Even on top which I’ve heard is the easiest way for it to happen?? I guess that’s kinda normal though not being to from just penetration alone. And in the end he didn’t even end up getting to cum which I felt sooo bad about. He didn’t seem to mind though. He seems to be more about enjoying the moment than the end result which I’m not against and I’m sure I’ll get used to! I think I’m just kinda used reading and seeing a perfect scene of start to finish where both people finish. Idk I guess I really like the idea of finishing together but that’s probably not really realistic. But yeah I was so much less self conscious this time!! So that was nice!! It was so hard to say goodbye though as we didn’t have any time to like cuddle afterwards :( I really hope we get to see each other on the weekend! Lol sorry this was so long - age gap crush anon

Nah that sounds like such a cute cute evening I love it!!!

Okay so I have this problem too and omg me and B have a running joke about it at this point between him always struggling to get the condom on and then when it comes to it, us not being able to get it in and stuff. I think this stuff is way more normal than people think, and no one talks or writes about it much (me included maybe I need to change the way I write the groupie haha)

It could be to do with the fact it was ur first time and you may have been nervous. Sometimes I can't tell when I'm tight down there and B has to tell me it's happening and like then he'll try to help me relax and stuff (but never before he's checked I definitely want it) (also his way of making me relax before u go ahead and think it's cute, is by sticking his finger up my nose or in my ear to make me laugh, because then it completely divert anxious thought paths haha) (it's dumb af don't try it haha)

But yeah, it could be that you're over thinking it and you're not relaxed down there, which isn't your fault at all and isn't a bad thing, vaginas just be temperamental wee bitches at times.

Another thing could be if he's a wee bit too soft? Sometimes that happens and like, often for the same reasons as you being too tight. But my advice here is just like, don't read into it, it's not to do with you at all and definitely isn't particularly linked to whether he's into it or not either. It's the case with B quite often and generally as well it means that stuff lasts longer too I think haha

Something I've read that me and B haven't tried yet is that propping your pelvis up with a pillow gets you at a better angle for missionary sex, so this could help when it comes to getting it in. And also it allows deeper penetration and can make it wayyy more pleasurable.

Also something I've found right is that the more me and B have had sex the easier all of this has become as we've gotten to know eachother and eachothers bodies better if that makes sense?

It doesn't happen all the time but sometimes I find that we'll be naked, and just messing around and if he's between my legs and generally in the right area, it can, with encouragement, just slip in really naturally.

Something that helps me too is if like, when hes getting lined up, he kinda takes his dick and draws a line down from my clit until he finds my hole and again, can just push himself in kinda naturally.

I think just trying to push it in like one of those kids peg/hole toys doesn't really work that well sometimes.

But honestly don't worry you'll get used to eachother!

What's important is that you enjoyed yourself and your first time was fun.

Onto the cumming business, I think we're taught to think that sex is entirely about procreation therefore the man must cum and that's the most important thing however it just isn't.

I think sex is best viewed as this intimate act which brings you and your partner together, it's this private, close experience you share together and like, it's more about being vulnerable with one another and like sharing that intimacy with eachother. Making eachother cum is fun, and obviously like it's all part of it. But it isn't central to the experience really.

Like sometimes me and B have sex and neither of us cum, we just kinda know when we've had enough and we're tired, and like, that is as good as when we have sex and he cums. Ive never cum from just penetration alone, not with B or with anyone else and I think that's completely normal.

I'm fairly certain most women find that penetration alone isn't enough?

I've cum with B inside me once through being on top and him playing with my clit whilst I rode him, but even then that's way more difficult than they make it look in the movies haha.

Most of the time the way it works between us is that he like, makes me cum pre penetration, multiple times, so that by the time we're having sex I'm over stimulated and like, him fucking me is like, helping me ride out said orgasms?

But again, I think that sex is more of an experience as a whole thing and not purely about cumming. And what you said about your man kinda just being there to enjoy the experience is actually a really good thing.

When me and B first got together, because we both think we're probably on the asexual spectrum somewhere (like neither of us have ever been into one night stands or just having sex for the sake of it) we had a conversation about it, because I was para he didn't even want sex and like I didn't want him to feel obliged and he was the same about me. And we kinda talked about how like, we v much want to be having sex with one another, but that we aren't bothered about whether we both cum or whether we cum together or anything like that, that for us it was entirely about sharing this intimate time together and feeling close and connected.

Like, how I was saying the other day, more often than not after we've had sex he will stay inside me and we'll stay really close together and just kind of enjoy being naked together hugging eachother and feeling the whole skin on skin thing.

Like the other day he told me that that was one of his favourite parts of the whole thing and how close he feels to me just holding me like that. (I did nearly die)

Like I think not cumming, or him not cumming or not cumming together is more normal than we think and accepting that and bejng happy together just sharing the experience is super healthy and good.

But I know what you mean about feeling bad about not making him cum. I still get like that with B sometimes, like, I've gone down on him for a full half hour before and he hasn't cum and it's not me at all (because I've also made him cum in 30 seconds before doing the same thing) it's just the way shit works sometimes.

The same with me, sometimes he can make me cum in like 30 seconds and sometimes I just can't. Like it's all completely natural and I think in our heads we view sex as a 3 step children's story of like, penetration, in and out, cum (the end) and that's just not it at all. Also wouldn't it be boring if every time u had sex it happened in the same routine, totally predictable?

Idk again I hope this has been somewhat helpful!!! Do not worry about tmi at all I think I probably tmi on here all the time!

I hope u see him at the weekend too!!

❤️❤️